mirror of
https://github.com/mikaela/mikaela.github.io/
synced 2024-12-27 05:32:41 +01:00
49 lines
2.2 KiB
Markdown
49 lines
2.2 KiB
Markdown
---
|
|
layout: post
|
|
comments: true
|
|
title: "A little more on my life"
|
|
category: [english]
|
|
tags: [english, life, love]
|
|
redirect_from: /english/2015/05/18/life-bot-background.html
|
|
sitemap: false
|
|
---
|
|
|
|
_More on my life and a little background on bots; also trigger warning about
|
|
probably everything..._
|
|
|
|
Start with the [previous post on
|
|
the subject]({% post_url blog/2015-03-25-leaving-bots-life %})...
|
|
|
|
_Update: [I graduated on 2015-05-29.]({% post_url blog/2015-05-29-graduation %})_
|
|
|
|
So I have been away from school for months now and the fact that I won't
|
|
graduate seems very sure. I haven't left home unless I have had too either and
|
|
after today I might leave home even then.
|
|
|
|
I don't remember last week so well, so probably nothing happened, I was away
|
|
from home for two events at Helsinki which is tiring as the bus trip from
|
|
Kotka-Helsinki is two hours, rest of the week I was at home with the exception
|
|
of visiting cottage and replacing elorn (Banana Pi which didn't like upgrade
|
|
from Bananian Wheezy to Bananian Jessie) with rbtpzn (a little better system,
|
|
Raspberry Pi B+ running Arch Linux ARM), I don't remember what else happened.
|
|
|
|
I have also been anxious too much for being healthy and I have talked about
|
|
suicide probably daily. Last night Doctor [Google] also suggested [Avoidant
|
|
personality disorder] and I am waiting for seeing "mental health professional"
|
|
again and asking if that is possible.
|
|
|
|
[google]: https://encrypted.google.com/
|
|
[avoidant personality disorder]:
|
|
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder
|
|
|
|
And back to today, I had possibly my worst bus trip between Kotka and Helsinki.
|
|
First there was bully from previous school and even if they didn't do anything,
|
|
just seeing is enough to trigger heavy anxiety to me. <br/>Then there were two
|
|
people sitting in front of me at the bus, small child and one adult. The child
|
|
kept making loud noice for most of the trip and at some point dropped whatever
|
|
the thing is on bus seats behind your head to me and only stared.<br/> I was too
|
|
anxious even without them, so I didn't tell the adult anything and there
|
|
wouldn't have been any use in that as they didn't care about their behaviour
|
|
anyway and it would have been my fault anyway for sitting there or annoying them
|
|
just for existing.
|