mirror of
https://github.com/mikaela/mikaela.github.io/
synced 2024-11-14 07:59:27 +01:00
91 lines
3.8 KiB
Markdown
91 lines
3.8 KiB
Markdown
---
|
||
layout: post
|
||
comments: true
|
||
title: "Little on my life currently"
|
||
category: [english]
|
||
tags: [irc, english, life]
|
||
redirect_from: /english/2015/03/25/leaving-bots-life.html
|
||
---
|
||
|
||
## A little on my life currently
|
||
|
||
<-->
|
||
|
||
**TRIGGER WARNING: suicide, school bullying, transphobia**
|
||
|
||
I am 19 years old trans woman who also has Asperger's syndrome
|
||
studying <s>for vocational qualification in business information
|
||
technology</s> or would be studying if there wasn't one "small bullying
|
||
issue." I haven't been at
|
||
[Etelä-Kymenlaakso vocational college](https://ekami.fi/in-english) for
|
||
month and more.
|
||
|
||
It started some time ago when I went there and it was mainly in three
|
||
events on different days:
|
||
|
||
- Coming from school canteen someone said "hi Mikaela, you are beautiful"
|
||
in one boy group where I have no idea who said it or who they even are.
|
||
- Going to school canteen someone of the same group said "hi" and I replied
|
||
"hi" and I got third reply imitating my horrible masculine voice.
|
||
- The last time going to school canteen I went to nearby bathroom to
|
||
\<if I understood correctly, trans people do so horrible things in
|
||
bahtroom that I cannot write it here :P\> and I heard my name being
|
||
shouted there multiple times. When I leeft it and went to canteen, I
|
||
just ignored them and went to canteen normally and heard them shouting
|
||
after me "ONKO SULLA MUNAT!" which in spoken (Finnish) language
|
||
translates to "DO YOU HAVE TESTICLES?".
|
||
|
||
I informed this to school social worker and two teachers, but then I
|
||
learned that the school is unable to do anything as I have no idea who
|
||
the people are (what class or names). I was one day away and on then went
|
||
back for some time and got more and more anxious and stressful on what
|
||
if I saw the people somewhere or if they walke to canteen using the side
|
||
door that I had been using. Since then I have been unable to go anywhere
|
||
near Hamina.
|
||
|
||
There was one exception where I had scheduler appointment with the school
|
||
social worker and I went there with my mother, but the school social
|
||
worker was away with label on the door saying "if you had scheduled
|
||
appointment, please contact me using Wilma (place to message teachers
|
||
etc.)" so we wasted time 50 minutes per trip from [Kotka] to [Hamina] and
|
||
[Hamina] to [Kotka].
|
||
|
||
[kotka]: https://www.kotka.fi/en/residents
|
||
[hamina]: https://hamina.fi/en/
|
||
|
||
---
|
||
|
||
_Update:
|
||
[I graduated on 2015-05-29.]({% post_url blog/2015-05-29-graduation %})_
|
||
|
||
I would graduate in summer without this issue and the only thing I have
|
||
missing is work training. As I don't have work training place I was doing
|
||
it at school with some other students until the bullying started.
|
||
|
||
The work training didn't went too well as it felt like it was as far
|
||
from real work environment as possible, teacher giving some tasks that are
|
||
done in maybe 15 minutes and rest of time other people just playing games
|
||
and drinking energy drinks.
|
||
|
||
There is also another issue, me being scared of real work environment, but
|
||
nothing can be done to it now and the fear will just be moved to trouble
|
||
either my next school that I have thought to be
|
||
[KyUAS](https://www.kyamk.fi/Frontpage) (but it seems likely that I will
|
||
try to get to [Helsinki] or [Jyväskylä] and study there as people have
|
||
offered to help me find apartment either from there) or anywhere where I
|
||
will work in the future if I ever will.
|
||
|
||
[helsinki]: https://www.hel.fi/www/helsinki/en
|
||
[jyväskylä]: https://www.hel.fi/www/helsinki/en
|
||
|
||
The school also offered to also give remote tasks, but it was too late and
|
||
I don't feel like I can do anything anymore as the school hasn't done
|
||
anything to help the situation.
|
||
|
||
How does this affect me? As people say, bullying leaves eternal scars and I
|
||
am not someone who could stay away from school just for fun, I have talked
|
||
about suicide daily and I have also just been talked out of it for the
|
||
second time in two days. I don't believe I can live like this forever.
|
||
|
||
---
|