mikaela.github.io/pages/about.markdown

---
title: About me
layout: page
permalink: /about.html
excerpt:
  "A little about me on transness, Asperger's syndrome/autism, feminism,
  asexuality & using Linux."
published: false
lang: en
---

<em>Even if I talk about these things openly here, I prefer that <strong>you
don't talk about me being these minorities to anyone</strong> and <strong>let me
tell by myself</strong> if I see reason to do it. People interested enough can
put my name to any search engine and find here sooner or later.</em>

<em>If you did out me, you would risk me being treated differently and possibly
cause dangerous concequences.</em>

On this page I am trying to explain myself more or those things that you might
wonder in my self-description. Some things that I explain here may overlap with
different features.

_For more material about these things, please see [GRSM links](/links2)._

## GirlsLikeUs — I am a trans woman

It simply means that I was incorrectly defined as boy at birth which I never
was. I didn't always know it, but around 14-15 Dysphoria really hit me.

I was always different from boys and I have been always bullied and I became
suicidal and depressed. I was diagnosed with AS which didn't so much, but
finally I came to realization on who I am and started the progress to be
recognized as myself.

As the progress is too slow in Finland I ended up starting HRT
([Hormone Replacement Therapy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy))
by myself (like many (if not most) of us here do) and was on it for year before
getting diagnosed and getting HRT officially.

Many people have said that I am nowadays happier and smile more and other things
like that and I know this is who I am.

It's also not very nice when you separate sex and gender by saying "your gender
can be female, but you are always biologically male" and it has been noted
multiple times that gender is biological. _[GRSM links](/links2)_

- [How to respect a Transgender person at WikiHow](http://www.wikihow.com/Respect-a-Transgender-Person)

_I feel this part doesn't transmit how being trans feels and some things should
possibly be mentioned here..._

## AS - Asperger's Syndrome

I am AS-person and you might see it from the way I write and speak. I have some
over-sensitive senses like sense of hearing and it becomes difficult for me to
speak if I try to look into your eyes at the same time, so I am not trying to be
impolite or anything, it's just easier to not look at you while I speak. Same
applies to understanding your speaking.

_This paragraph is stub -.-_

- [How to understand Autism at WikiHow](http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Autism)
  - Might apply more to children, but it's a feature so one won't simply get
    healed from it.

_I have afterwards learned that I am also a
[Higly Sensitive Person (HSP](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_sensitivity),
but it overlaps with autism a little and I don't know what to start typing it
and it's piece of information that would mainly interest another HSP like many
other things on this page, so I am just leaving it here._

## Ace & Relationship Anarchist

_I am asexual and possibly relationship anarchist, but it will be seen..._

I used to define myself as poly-curiuos (wondering if I am poly (capable of
having simultaneous close romantic relationships with two or more people or not)
and demiromantic (the ace of diamonds playing card is their symbol shared by
demisexuals) which means only forming romantic attraction after forming close
emotional bond with the person

At some point I started wondering does touching and caring have to be limited
into relationship and found
[Romantic Asexual, or Touch Hunger?](https://abnormaldiversity.blogspot.fi/2012/12/romantic-asexual-or-touch-hunger.html?)
which made sense and made me think that there is no romanticity, just sensuality
and in the bottom relationship anarchy. As what is the difference between friend
and partner, what prevents you from (consentually) cuddling or having sex with
friends? What prevents you from loving your friends and is loving so different
from liking and don't you sometimes use the words interchangeably? What prevents
you from doing all the things you wish to do with your partner with some friend?
What if love comes after you stop for especially looking for one or multiple
people to call as partner(s)?

I have found a word for this, _quoiromantic_ (aka _wtfromantic_ or
_whatromantic_) and I think I can still use the ace of diamonds symbol as
_demisensual_ is the closest to describe my relationship with touch (meaning
that I might like it after there is some sort of a emotional bond).

However labels such as partner still appear to be necessary with unique
relationships based on their development or otherwise I am not understood.

_I am not so sure about this as I might seem in typing this, but what will
happen will be seen when it happens._

- [Relationship anarcy at Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship_anarchy)
- [How to understand asexual people at WikiHow](http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Asexual-People)

## Feminist

I support equal rights for everyone and the right of self-definition (or not
requiring anyone to define themselves). Everyone should also be the one to
choose what they do with their body (abortion, gender transition etc.) freely
without complicated researchs and other people or society judging them.

_This is basicaly everything, but shouldn't I also say something more?_

## Linux user

I have been used Linux since 2008, I started with [Ubuntu] \(8.04). My preferred
distribution is [Ubuntu MATE] or [Arch Linux] or with servers [Debian], but I am
also familiar with other distributions, mainly [Debian]-deriatives.

I have experience with [Fedora] and other distributions from that side too and I
am not entirely lost while using them, but somehow I have always preferred
Debian side. Maybe it's just that I have learned to use it.

[ubuntu]: http://www.ubuntu.com/desktop
[ubuntu mate]: https://ubuntu-mate.org/
[ubuntu server]: http://www.ubuntu.com/server
[debian]: https://www.debian.org/
[fedora]: https://getfedora.org
[antergos]: http://antergos.com/
[mate]: http://mate-desktop.org/
[sddm]: https://github.com/sddm

_Hah, this is the only part of the page I feel is enough descriptive..._

_Update: every time I read this this seems to be outdated and is possibly
getting removed entirely sometime._

## Life

This link list to life post on my blog shouldn't be here, but it has no better
place, so where else should it be?

_Time of writing in YYYY-MM-DD (ISO 8601): title or what it's about._

- [2015-03-25: Leaving bot communities & a little on my life]({% post_url 2015-03-25-leaving-bots-life %})
- [2015-04-03: Scum]({% post_url 2015-04-03-scum %})
  - [2015-04-01: Saasta (same in Finnish)]({% post_url 2015-04-01-saasta %})
- [2015-05-18: Somewhat more on my life & untold background
  of bots]({% post_url 2015-05-18-life-bot-background %})
- [2015-06-16: Feelings and wounds of
  school bullying]({% post_url 2015-06-16-feelings %})
- [2015-06-29: Google translated "suicide post"](https://translate.google.fi/translate?sl=fi&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=fi&ie=UTF-8&u=https%3A%2F%2Fmikaela.info%2Ffinnish%2F2015%2F06%2F29%2Fminusta.html&edit-text=)
  - _I was at psychiatrical hospital after writing this._
- [2015-09-09: The most important post that I
  have written]({% post_url 2015-09-09-act-around-trans %})
- [2015-11-03: I moved to Lauttasaari, Helsinki]({% post_url 2015-11-03-moving %})
  - way too positive for this section, but where else...
- [2015-11-21: Email to Legal Affairs Committee on how trans law must be based on the right of self-definition](https://translate.google.fi/translate?sl=fi&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=https%3A%2F%2Fmikaela.info%2Ffinnish%2F2015%2F11%2F21%2Fsahkopostia-lakivaliokunnalle-translaki.html&edit-text=)
- [2017-04-18: Google Translated dance lesson trauma](https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=fi&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=https%3A%2F%2Fmikaela.info%2Ffinnish%2F2017%2F04%2F18%2Ftanssitunti.html&edit-text=)
- [2017-04-30: After trans process and AvPD, everything
  is OK]({% post_url 2017-04-30-post-trans %})

---

_Please keep in mind that everything in this page is just my opinion and not all
trans or AS or \<any group\> people are the exact same._