mikaela.github.io/_posts/2015-05-10-umodeg2.md

You might want to read this even if you don’t have any idea what IRC is. Why I am not reacting to your attempts to PM me if I don’t know you? Simple, all results are bad.

See also umode +g part 1

I had otherwise nice day yesterday, but then I returned home (living at Kotka while being me is worse than death) and there were not-so-nice things at IRC.

• ChatSpike IRC network had somehow broken itself and they have SSL ports listening plain text, but I am not affiliated with them and it has nothing to do with this, but I seem to be mentioning it anyway.
• Transphobic person had sent trans person after me for being in same country and possibly being able to help (and interacting with them was a mistake) which is why I won’t acknowledge your PM attempts unless I know you. I won’t define “knowing”, you can use your head for that.

So I receive two PM attempts from someone I don’t know and it gives me three choices:

• ignore it like it didn’t happen
• /accept which can lead me getting harassed which doesn’t interest freenode staffers.
• /whois <the person> and ask on common channel if any (this time #freenode).

The third option seemed like the best possible, but was a disaster. First I ask if there was some reason they wanted to PM me and:

Oh, I got to know your nickname on another network from some person who saw I was a transgender-person Mikaela .

Today it seems that I misunderstood the line badly (that they knew me on other network) while being tired, but why else mention “transgender” to me as PM attempt reason if I wasn’t trans.

Then many people start complaining to me about making private conversation public ignoring that freenode staffers are infamous for their reaction to any kind of harassment on their network so it’s my fault for staying safe.

As should be common sense, don’t talk about anyone else beloging to gender or sexual minority, depending on which of them, they will get interacted with differently (“trying to cheat other people that they are another gender than they are”), violence, harassment, bullying or worse.

At this point there was finally a little PMing to return to #freenode with even worse way longer time laterwhile I was preparing for bed and I wasn’t following IRC (which possibly was good thing in this case.)

Everything below is from #freenode

I got your contact details from <TRANSPHOBE> in irc.pomf.se and that person wanted to send greetings or something.

Please consider this blog post as return-greetings…

I didn’t know you were that young.

Something bad happened in Kotka in my life while other bad things were happening in there so I made a connection that you might be some kind of a key to fix some feelings left by that.

I think I have talked about living at Kotka being worse than death at many places, but no idea where you made that assumption.

And, if you like, you could go to the Mensa IQ-test in Helsinki when you have the time. Guide on how to go there can be found at http://www.mensa.fi/

this has what to do with anything? bullying because of autism? by the way, other people are again complaining about the discussion which is natural as there is no reason for it to belong to #freenode.

And Mikaela, if you come out of being asexual, you could come to Rizon to chat. #transbians is a good channel.

I take this as acephobia, the chances of me becoming something else than ace is probably same as sexual orientation of any other person changing… Here I am also outed as ace and I already talked about that before with great emphasis.

One thing that happens to ace people when outed is often said to be “corrective rape”, as raping asexual person will surely make them straight even if it won’t work with other sexual minorities. Or does it cause mental health issues and more fear towards sexuality? (note that ace people can still have sex if they choose so and not everyone is repulsed by sex. remember consent).

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Now you should know…

• that you mustn’t talk about someone else being gender or sexual minority even if they are publicly out, let them tell by themselves if they choose to do so. Other people have no need for that information, they only need knowledge on your preferred pronouns (or they can use singular they or other gender neutral pronoun)…
• that I am not going to talk to you in PM unless I know you and you should use common sense for defining “knowing” and one real life example of what can happen if I do talk to you.
• that I have more issues with trying to help other people now. I have nice issues with it for example freenode’s “feminist” channels (with the quotes) and getting bullied for performing repair install to their PC when it was failing to boot Windows and they were lost on what to do.

For (un)setting umodes, see this post.