mirror of
https://github.com/mikaela/mikaela.github.io/
synced 2024-11-28 23:39:25 +01:00
86 lines
3.8 KiB
Markdown
86 lines
3.8 KiB
Markdown
---
|
||
layout: post
|
||
comments: true
|
||
title: "Little on my life currently"
|
||
category: [english]
|
||
tags: [irc, english, life]
|
||
redirect_from: /english/2015/03/25/leaving-bots-life.html
|
||
robots: noai
|
||
---
|
||
|
||
A little on my life currently
|
||
|
||
<-->
|
||
|
||
**TRIGGER WARNING: suicide, school bullying, transphobia**
|
||
|
||
I am 19 years old trans woman who also has Asperger's syndrome studying <s>for
|
||
vocational qualification in business information technology</s> or would be
|
||
studying if there wasn't one "small bullying issue." I haven't been at
|
||
[Etelä-Kymenlaakso vocational college](https://ekami.fi/in-english) for month
|
||
and more.
|
||
|
||
It started some time ago when I went there and it was mainly in three events on
|
||
different days:
|
||
|
||
- Coming from school canteen someone said "hi Mikaela, you are beautiful" in one
|
||
boy group where I have no idea who said it or who they even are.
|
||
- Going to school canteen someone of the same group said "hi" and I replied "hi"
|
||
and I got third reply imitating my horrible masculine voice.
|
||
- The last time going to school canteen I went to nearby bathroom to \<if I
|
||
understood correctly, trans people do so horrible things in bahtroom that I
|
||
cannot write it here :P\> and I heard my name being shouted there multiple
|
||
times. When I leeft it and went to canteen, I just ignored them and went to
|
||
canteen normally and heard them shouting after me "ONKO SULLA MUNAT!" which in
|
||
spoken (Finnish) language translates to "DO YOU HAVE TESTICLES?".
|
||
|
||
I informed this to school social worker and two teachers, but then I learned
|
||
that the school is unable to do anything as I have no idea who the people are
|
||
(what class or names). I was one day away and on then went back for some time
|
||
and got more and more anxious and stressful on what if I saw the people
|
||
somewhere or if they walke to canteen using the side door that I had been using.
|
||
Since then I have been unable to go anywhere near Hamina.
|
||
|
||
There was one exception where I had scheduler appointment with the school social
|
||
worker and I went there with my mother, but the school social worker was away
|
||
with label on the door saying "if you had scheduled appointment, please contact
|
||
me using Wilma (place to message teachers etc.)" so we wasted time 50 minutes
|
||
per trip from [Kotka] to [Hamina] and [Hamina] to [Kotka].
|
||
|
||
[kotka]: https://www.kotka.fi/en/residents
|
||
[hamina]: https://hamina.fi/en/
|
||
|
||
---
|
||
|
||
_Update: [I graduated on 2015-05-29.]({% post_url blog/2015-05-29-graduation %})_
|
||
|
||
I would graduate in summer without this issue and the only thing I have missing
|
||
is work training. As I don't have work training place I was doing it at school
|
||
with some other students until the bullying started.
|
||
|
||
The work training didn't went too well as it felt like it was as far from real
|
||
work environment as possible, teacher giving some tasks that are done in maybe
|
||
15 minutes and rest of time other people just playing games and drinking energy
|
||
drinks.
|
||
|
||
There is also another issue, me being scared of real work environment, but
|
||
nothing can be done to it now and the fear will just be moved to trouble either
|
||
my next school that I have thought to be [KyUAS](https://www.kyamk.fi/Frontpage)
|
||
(but it seems likely that I will try to get to [Helsinki] or [Jyväskylä] and
|
||
study there as people have offered to help me find apartment either from there)
|
||
or anywhere where I will work in the future if I ever will.
|
||
|
||
[helsinki]: https://www.hel.fi/www/helsinki/en
|
||
[jyväskylä]: https://www.hel.fi/www/helsinki/en
|
||
|
||
The school also offered to also give remote tasks, but it was too late and I
|
||
don't feel like I can do anything anymore as the school hasn't done anything to
|
||
help the situation.
|
||
|
||
How does this affect me? As people say, bullying leaves eternal scars and I am
|
||
not someone who could stay away from school just for fun, I have talked about
|
||
suicide daily and I have also just been talked out of it for the second time in
|
||
two days. I don't believe I can live like this forever.
|
||
|
||
---
|