mikaela.github.io/pages/about.markdown

---
title: About me
layout: page
permalink: /about.html
excerpt: "A little about me on transness, Asperger's syndrome/autism, feminism, asexuality & using Linux."
published: false
---

<em>Even if I talk about these things openly here, I prefer that
<strong>you don't talk about me being these minorities to anyone</strong>
and <strong>let me tell by myself</strong> if I see reason to do it.
People interested enough can put my name to any search engine and find here sooner or later.</em>

<em>If you did out me, you would risk me being treated differently and
possibly cause dangerous concequences.</em>

On this page I am trying to explain myself more or those things that you
might wonder in my self-description. Some things that I explain here may
overlap with different features.

*For more material about these things, please see [GRSM links](/links2).*

## GirlsLikeUs — I am a trans woman

It simply means that I was incorrectly defined as boy at birth which I
never was. I didn't always know it, but around 14-15 Dysphoria really hit
me.

I was always different from boys and I have been always bullied and I
became suicidal and depressed. I was diagnosed with AS which didn't so
much, but finally I came to realization on who I am and started the
progress to be recognized as myself.

As the progress is too slow in Finland I ended up starting HRT 
([Hormone Replacement Therapy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hormone_replacement_therapy))
by myself (like many (if not most) of us here do) and was on it for year
before getting diagnosed and getting HRT officially.

Many people have said that I am nowadays happier and smile more and other
things like that and I know this is who I am.

It's also not very nice when you separate sex and gender by saying "your
gender can be female, but you are always biologically male" and it has
been noted multiple times that gender is biological.
*[GRSM links](/links2)*

* [How to respect a Transgender person at WikiHow](http://www.wikihow.com/Respect-a-Transgender-Person)

*I feel this part doesn't transmit how being trans feels and some things
should possibly be mentioned here...*

## AS - Asperger's Syndrome

I am AS-person and you might see it from the way I write and speak. I have
some over-sensitive senses like sense of hearing and it becomes difficult
for me to speak if I try to look into your eyes at the same time, so I am
not trying to be impolite or anything, it's just easier to not look at you
while I speak. Same applies to understanding your speaking.

*This paragraph is stub -.-*

* [How to understand Autism at WikiHow](http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Autism)
    * Might apply more to children, but it's a feature so one won't simply
      get healed from it.

*I have afterwards learned that I am also a [Higly Sensitive Person (HSP](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_sensitivity), but it
 overlaps with autism a little and I don't know what to start typing it and
 it's piece of information that would mainly interest another HSP like
 many other things on this page, so I am just leaving it here.*

## Ace & Relationship Anarchist

*I am asexual and possibly relationship anarchist, but it will be seen...*

I used to define myself as poly-curiuos (wondering if I am poly (capable
of having simultaneous close romantic relationships with two or more
people or not) and demiromantic (the ace of diamonds playing card is their
symbol shared by demisexuals) which means only forming romantic attraction
after forming close emotional bond with the person

At some point I started wondering does touching and caring have to be
limited into relationship and found 
[Romantic Asexual, or Touch Hunger?](https://abnormaldiversity.blogspot.fi/2012/12/romantic-asexual-or-touch-hunger.html?) which made sense and made
me think that there is no romanticity, just sensuality and in the bottom
relationship anarchy. As what is the difference between friend and partner,
what prevents you from (consentually) cuddling or having sex with friends?
What prevents you from loving your friends and is loving so different from
liking and don't you sometimes use the words interchangeably? What prevents
you from doing all the things you wish to do with your partner with some
friend? What if love comes after you stop for especially looking for one
or multiple people to call as partner(s)?

I have found a word for this, *quoiromantic* (aka *wtfromantic* or
*whatromantic*) and I think I can still use the ace of diamonds symbol
as *demisensual* is the closest to describe my relationship with
touch (meaning that I might like it after there is some sort of a emotional
bond).

However labels such as partner still appear to be necessary with unique
relationships based on their development or otherwise I am not understood.

*I am not so sure about this as I might seem in typing this, but what will
happen will be seen when it happens.*

* [Relationship anarcy at Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship_anarchy)
* [How to understand asexual people at WikiHow](http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Asexual-People)

## Feminist

I support equal rights for everyone and the right of self-definition (or
not requiring anyone to define themselves). Everyone should also be the one
to choose what they do with their body (abortion, gender transition etc.)
freely without complicated researchs and other people or society judging
them.

*This is basicaly everything, but shouldn't I also say something more?*

## Linux user

I have been used Linux since 2008, I started with [Ubuntu] \(8.04).
My preferred distribution is [Ubuntu MATE] or [Arch Linux] or with servers
[Debian], but I am also familiar with other distributions, mainly
[Debian]-deriatives. 

I have experience with [Fedora] and other distributions from that side too
and I am not entirely lost while using them, but somehow I have always
preferred Debian side. Maybe it's just that I have learned to use it.

[Ubuntu]:http://www.ubuntu.com/desktop
[Ubuntu MATE]:https://ubuntu-mate.org/
[Ubuntu Server]:http://www.ubuntu.com/server
[Debian]:https://www.debian.org/
[Fedora]:https://getfedora.org
[Antergos]:http://antergos.com/
[MATE]:http://mate-desktop.org/
[SDDM]:https://github.com/sddm

*Hah, this is the only part of the page I feel is enough descriptive...*

*Update: every time I read this this seems to be outdated and is possibly
 getting removed entirely sometime.*

## Life

This link list to life post on my blog shouldn't be here, but it has no
better place, so where else should it be?

*Time of writing in YYYY-MM-DD (ISO 8601): title or what it's about.*

* [2015-03-25: Leaving bot communities & a little on my life]({% post_url 2015-03-25-leaving-bots-life %})
* [2015-04-03: Scum]({% post_url 2015-04-03-scum %})
    * [2015-04-01: Saasta (same in Finnish)]({% post_url 2015-04-01-saasta %})
* [2015-05-18: Somewhat more on my life & untold background of bots]({% post_url 2015-05-18-life-bot-background %})
* [2015-06-16: Feelings and wounds of school bullying]({% post_url 2015-06-16-feelings %})
* [2015-06-29: Google translated "suicide post"](https://translate.google.fi/translate?sl=fi&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=fi&ie=UTF-8&u=https%3A%2F%2Fmikaela.info%2Ffinnish%2F2015%2F06%2F29%2Fminusta.html&edit-text=)
    * *I was at psychiatrical hospital after writing this.*
* [2015-09-09: The most important post that I have written]({% post_url 2015-09-09-act-around-trans %})
* [2015-11-03: I moved to Lauttasaari, Helsinki]({% post_url 2015-11-03-moving %})
    * way too positive for this section, but where else...
* [2015-11-21: Email to Legal Affairs Committee on how trans law must be based on the right of self-definition](https://translate.google.fi/translate?sl=fi&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=https%3A%2F%2Fmikaela.info%2Ffinnish%2F2015%2F11%2F21%2Fsahkopostia-lakivaliokunnalle-translaki.html&edit-text=)
* [2017-04-18: Google Translated dance lesson trauma](https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=fi&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=https%3A%2F%2Fmikaela.info%2Ffinnish%2F2017%2F04%2F18%2Ftanssitunti.html&edit-text=)
* [2017-04-30: After trans process and AvPD, everything is OK]({% post_url 2017-04-30-post-trans %})

* * * * *

*Please keep in mind that everything in this page is just my opinion and
not all trans or AS or \<any group\> people are the exact same.*