mikaela.github.io/pages/about.markdown

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layout: page
permalink: /about.html
excerpt: "A little about me on transness, Asperger's syndrome/autism, feminism, asexuality & using Linux."
---

<em>Even if I talk about these things openly here, I prefer that
<strong>you don't talk about me being these minorities to anyone</strong>
and <strong>let me tell by myself</strong> if I see reason to do it.
People interested enough can put my name to any search engine and find here sooner or later.</em>

<em>If you did out me, you would risk me being treated differently and
possibly cause dangerous concequences.</em>

On this page I am trying to explain myself more or those things that you
might wonder in my self-description. Some things that I explain here may
overlap with different features.

*For more material about these things, please see [GRSM links](/links2).*

## GirlsLikeUs — I am trans woman

It simply means that I was incorrectly defined as boy at birth which I
never was. I didn't always know it, but around 14-15 Dysphoria really hit
me.

I was always different from boys and I have been always bullied and I
became suicidal and depressed. I was diagnosed with AS which didn't so
much, but finally I came to realization on who I am and started the
progress to be recognized as myself.

As the progress is too slow in Finland I ended up starting HRT by myself
(like many (if not most) of us here do) and was on it for year before
getting diagnosed and getting HRT officially.

Many people have said that I am nowadays happier and smile more and other
things like that and I know this is who I am.

It's also not very nice when you separate sex and gender by saying "your
gender can be female, but you are always biologically male" and it has
been noted multiple times that gender is biological.
*[GRSM links](/links2)*

*I feel this part doesn't transmit how being trans feels and some things
should possibly be mentioned here...*

## AS - Asperger's Syndrome

I am AS-person and you might see it from the way I write and speak. I have
some over-sensitive senses like sense of hearing and it becomes difficult
for me to speak if I try to look into your eyes at the same time, so I am
not trying to be impolite or anything, it's just easier to not look at you
while I speak. Same applies to understanding your speaking.

*This paragraph is stub -.-*

## Ace

I am demiromantic asexual. That means that I

* can feel romantic attraction when I have formed close emotional bond
  with someone regardless of gender.
* don't feel sexual attraction.
* can feel aesthetic attraction though.

The Ace of Diamonds (🃁) that you can see in my biography is asexual slang
and means *demiromantic asexual* or *demisexual*.

*I feel I should type something more here, but I have no idea what...*

## Feminist

I support equal rights for everyone and the right of self-definition (or
not requiring anyone to define themselves). Everyone should also be the one
to choose what they do with their body (abortion, gender transition etc.)
freely without complicated researchs and other people or society judging
them.

*This is basicaly everything, but shouldn't I also say something more?*

## Linux user

I have been used Linux since 2008, I started with [Ubuntu] \(8.04) which I am
still using. My preferred distribution is [Ubuntu MATE] or
[Ubuntu Server], but I am also familiar with other distributions, mainly
[Debian]-deriatives. 

I have experience with [Fedora] and other distributions from that side too
and I am not entirely lost while using them, but somehow I have always
preferred Debian side. Maybe it's just that I have learned to use it.

Lately I have also been using [Antergos] which is [Arch Linux] with one
additional repo for things such as fonts and yaourt. I have always
performed base install (no desktop environment with it) as I don't like
the customizations that are made to desktop environments if I install them
directly in installer. I use [MATE] as desktop environment and [SDDM]
as display manager.

[Ubuntu]:http://www.ubuntu.com/desktop
[Ubuntu MATE]:https://ubuntu-mate.org/
[Ubuntu Server]:http://www.ubuntu.com/server
[Debian]:https://www.debian.org/
[Fedora]:https://getfedora.org
[Antergos]:http://antergos.com/
[MATE]:http://mate-desktop.org/
[SDDM]:https://github.com/sddm

*Hah, this is the only part of the page I feel is enough descriptive...*

# Life

This link list to life post on my blog shouldn't be here, but it has no
better place, so where else should it be?

* [2015-03-25: Leaving bot communities & a little on my life]({% post_url 2015-03-25-leaving-bots-life %})
* [2015-04-03: Scum]({% post_url 2015-04-03-scum %})
    * [2015-04-01: Saasta (same in Finnish)]({% post_url 2015-04-01-saasta %})
* [2015-05-18: Somewhat more on my life & untold background of bots]({% post_url 2015-05-18-life-bot-background %})
* [2015-06-16: Feelings and wounds of school bullying]({% post_url 2015-06-16-feelings %})
* [2015-06-29: Google translated "suicide post"](https://translate.google.fi/translate?sl=fi&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=fi&ie=UTF-8&u=https%3A%2F%2Fmikaela.info%2Ffinnish%2F2015%2F06%2F29%2Fminusta.html&edit-text=)
    * *I was at psychiatrical hospital after writing this.*

* * * * *

*Please keep in mind that everything in this page is just my opinion and
not all trans or AS or \<any group\> people are the exact same.*