2015-05-18 21:56:01 +02:00
|
|
|
---
|
|
|
|
|
layout: post
|
|
|
|
|
comments: true
|
2018-04-29 10:27:42 +02:00
|
|
|
title: "A little more on my life"
|
2015-05-18 21:56:01 +02:00
|
|
|
category: [english]
|
2018-04-29 10:27:42 +02:00
|
|
|
tags: [english, life, love]
|
2018-11-25 23:51:24 +01:00
|
|
|
redirect_from: /english/2015/05/18/life-bot-background.html
|
2015-05-18 21:56:01 +02:00
|
|
|
---
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
*More on my life and a little background on bots; also trigger warning
|
|
|
|
|
about probably everything...*
|
|
|
|
|
|
2019-07-13 22:07:49 +02:00
|
|
|
Start with the [previous post on the subject]({% post_url blog/2015-03-25-leaving-bots-life %})...
|
2015-05-18 21:56:01 +02:00
|
|
|
|
2015-05-29 09:58:07 +02:00
|
|
|
*Update:
|
2019-07-13 22:07:49 +02:00
|
|
|
[I graduated on 2015-05-29.]({% post_url blog/2015-05-29-graduation %})*
|
2015-05-29 09:58:07 +02:00
|
|
|
|
2015-05-18 21:56:01 +02:00
|
|
|
So I have been away from school for months now and the fact that I won't
|
|
|
|
|
graduate seems very sure. I haven't left home unless I have had too either
|
|
|
|
|
and after today I might leave home even then.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I don't remember last week so well, so probably nothing happened, I was
|
|
|
|
|
away from home for two events at Helsinki which is tiring as the bus
|
|
|
|
|
trip from Kotka-Helsinki is two hours, rest of the week I was at home
|
|
|
|
|
with the exception of visiting cottage and replacing elorn (Banana Pi which
|
|
|
|
|
didn't like upgrade from Bananian Wheezy to Bananian Jessie) with rbtpzn
|
|
|
|
|
(a little better system, Raspberry Pi B+ running Arch Linux ARM), I don't
|
|
|
|
|
remember what else happened.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have also been anxious too much for being healthy and I have talked about
|
|
|
|
|
suicide probably daily. Last night Doctor [Google] also suggested
|
|
|
|
|
[Avoidant personality disorder] and I am waiting for seeing "mental
|
|
|
|
|
health professional" again and asking if that is possible.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
[Google]:https://encrypted.google.com/
|
|
|
|
|
[Avoidant personality disorder]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
And back to today, I had possibly my worst bus trip between Kotka and
|
|
|
|
|
Helsinki. First there was bully from previous school and even if they
|
|
|
|
|
didn't do anything, just seeing is enough to trigger heavy anxiety to me.
|
|
|
|
|
<br/>Then there were two people sitting in front of me at the bus, small
|
|
|
|
|
child and one adult. The child kept making loud noice for most of the trip
|
|
|
|
|
and at some point dropped whatever the thing is on bus seats behind your
|
|
|
|
|
head to me and only stared.<br/>
|
|
|
|
|
I was too anxious even without them, so I didn't tell the adult anything
|
|
|
|
|
and there wouldn't have been any use in that as they didn't care about
|
|
|
|
|
their behaviour anyway and it would have been my fault anyway for sitting
|
|
|
|
|
there or annoying them just for existing.
|
