mirror of
https://github.com/mikaela/mikaela.github.io/
synced 2024-11-23 12:39:35 +01:00
119 lines
5.1 KiB
Markdown
119 lines
5.1 KiB
Markdown
---
|
|
layout: post
|
|
comments: true
|
|
title: "umode +g part 2: Why I don't acknowledge your existense"
|
|
category: [english]
|
|
tags: [english, IRC, outing, trans, ace]
|
|
---
|
|
|
|
*You might want to read this even if you don't have any idea what IRC is.
|
|
Why I am not reacting to your attempts to PM me if I don't know you?
|
|
Simple, all results are bad.*
|
|
|
|
[See also umode +g part 1]({% post_url 2015-04-02-umode+g %})
|
|
|
|
I had otherwise nice day yesterday, but then I returned home (living at
|
|
Kotka while being me is worse than death) and there were not-so-nice
|
|
things at IRC.
|
|
|
|
* ChatSpike IRC network had somehow broken itself and they have SSL ports
|
|
listening plain text, but I am not affiliated with them and it has
|
|
nothing to do with this, but I seem to be mentioning it anyway.
|
|
* Transphobic person had sent trans person after me for being in same
|
|
country and possibly being able to help (and interacting with them was
|
|
a mistake) which is why I won't acknowledge your PM attempts unless I
|
|
know you. I won't define "knowing", you can use your head for that.
|
|
|
|
So I receive two PM attempts from someone I don't know and it gives me
|
|
three choices:
|
|
|
|
* ignore it like it didn't happen
|
|
* `/accept` which can lead me getting [harassed] which doesn't interest
|
|
freenode staffers.
|
|
* `/whois <the person>` and ask on common channel if any (this time
|
|
\#freenode).
|
|
|
|
[harassed]:https://github.com/Mikaela/freenode-harassment
|
|
|
|
The third option seemed like the best possible, but was a disaster. First
|
|
I ask if there was some reason they wanted to PM me and:
|
|
|
|
> Oh, I got to know your nickname on another network from some person who
|
|
saw I was a transgender-person Mikaela .
|
|
|
|
Today it seems that I misunderstood the line badly
|
|
(that they knew me on other network) while being tired, but
|
|
why else mention "transgender" to me as PM attempt reason if I wasn't
|
|
trans.
|
|
|
|
Then many people start complaining to me about making private conversation
|
|
public ignoring that freenode staffers are infamous for their reaction to
|
|
any kind of harassment on their network so it's my fault for staying safe.
|
|
|
|
***As should be common sense, don't talk about anyone else beloging to
|
|
gender or sexual minority, depending on which of them, they will get
|
|
interacted with differently ("trying to cheat other people that they are
|
|
another gender than they are"), violence, harassment, bullying or worse.***
|
|
|
|
At this point there was finally a little PMing to return to \#freenode
|
|
with even worse way longer time laterwhile I was preparing for bed and
|
|
I wasn't following IRC (which possibly was good thing in this case.)
|
|
|
|
*Everything below is from \#freenode*
|
|
|
|
> I got your contact details from \<TRANSPHOBE\> in irc.pomf.se and that
|
|
person wanted to send greetings or something.
|
|
|
|
*Please consider this blog post as return-greetings...*
|
|
|
|
> I didn't know you were that young.
|
|
|
|
> Something bad happened in Kotka in my life while other bad things were
|
|
happening in there so I made a connection that you might be some kind of
|
|
a key to fix some feelings left by that.
|
|
|
|
*I think I have talked about living at Kotka being worse than death at many
|
|
places, but no idea where you made that assumption.*
|
|
|
|
> And, if you like, you could go to the Mensa IQ-test in Helsinki when
|
|
you have the time. Guide on how to go there can be found at
|
|
http://www.mensa.fi/
|
|
|
|
*this has what to do with anything? bullying because of autism? by the way,
|
|
other people are again complaining about the discussion which is natural
|
|
as there is no reason for it to belong to \#freenode.*
|
|
|
|
> And Mikaela, if you come out of being asexual, you could come to Rizon
|
|
to chat. #transbians is a good channel.
|
|
|
|
*I take this as acephobia, the chances of me becoming something else than
|
|
ace is probably same as sexual orientation of any other person changing...
|
|
Here I am also outed as ace and I already talked about that before with
|
|
great emphasis.*
|
|
|
|
*One thing that happens to ace people when outed is often said to be
|
|
"corrective rape", as raping asexual person will surely make them straight
|
|
even if it won't work with other sexual minorities. Or does it cause mental
|
|
health issues and more fear towards sexuality? (note that ace people can
|
|
still have sex if they choose so and not everyone is repulsed by sex.
|
|
remember consent).*
|
|
|
|
* * * * *
|
|
|
|
Now you should know...
|
|
|
|
* that you mustn't talk about someone else being gender or sexual minority
|
|
even if they are publicly out, let them tell by themselves if they choose
|
|
to do so. Other people have no need for that information, they only need
|
|
knowledge on your preferred pronouns (or they can use singular they or
|
|
other gender neutral pronoun)…
|
|
* that I am not going to talk to you in PM unless I know you and you should
|
|
use common sense for defining "knowing" and one real life example of what
|
|
can happen if I do talk to you.
|
|
* that I have more issues with trying to help other people now. I have nice
|
|
issues with it for example freenode's "feminist" channels (with the
|
|
quotes) and getting bullied for performing repair install to their PC
|
|
when it was failing to boot Windows and they were lost on what to do.
|
|
|
|
*[For (un)setting umodes, see this post.]({% post_url 2015-06-03-setting-umodes %})*
|