blog/_drafts/2017-07-30-google-alternateemail-phone.md

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+---
+layout: post
+comments: true
+title: ""
+category: [english]
+tags: [Google, Trello, Calendar, Docs, Drive, email, phone]
+---
+
+*I was having confusion with Google Account and alterate emails and phone
+ numbers and I imagine other people might do too and I feel like typing
+ this.*
+
+

blog/_drafts/2019-07-08-who-is-we.md

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+---
+layout: post
+title: "Who is we?"
+category: [english]
+tags: [english, life]
+---
+
+*This is a question that has been bothering me for a week or so and now the
+ time is ripe for blogging, even if I have no answers.*
+
+I am typing and backspacing this line, I don't know how to properly begin
+and format my message, or if my message can be understood. I think I will
+begin by listing what events have lead me to think of the question, who is
+"we".
+
+* * * * *
+
+Case redacted
+
+I feel anxious returning to thinking about this case which I have removed
+from my blog even if git remembers, I appreciate if you don't start digging
+for more of that story. I don't even remember how it went.
+
+There was a project and there was drama. I was "given permission"
+(how exactly?) to talk as "we", I think it's simple to say it went to my
+head and bad things happened.
+
+* * * * *
+
+Case matrix-appservice-irc
+
+*I am not affiliated with New Vector or Matrix.org and neither are the
+ people I am going to describe, it's just easy to pick the name of the
+ project based on where this happened. I guess the people may not even
+ remember this incident, unless they are harbouring similar thoughts and
+ going to write their versions of this post.*
+
+I am not sure how to talk about this either, but after having told about
+*redacted* I feel less anxious as this happened after my worst mental health
+problems.
+
+There is a group of people. There is someone others don't get along with
+well and another one whom people get along with a bit better.
+
+The first person asks whether "we" should do something (funnily I have no
+memory of what, but it's irrelevant to this post as this could have happened
+anywhere) and I think what happened was the second person starting to
+challenge the first one asking who are they to talk about "we". Can you
+guess what happens next?
+
+I still don't remember what exactly happened, but within the same
+discussion the second person starts talking similar things as "we". I think
+this time I am the one challenging them, asking how does their "we" differ
+from the "we" of the first person or why are they allowed to say "we" while
+the first one cannot.
+
+I think there were hurt feelings and I faintly remember talking about it
+with a third person, who I think agreed that there wasn't difference between
+those "we"s and maybe even said that it was good that I pointed it out? I
+don't remember, but I might regardless be typing this post and I have at
+least two more cases.
+
+* * * * *
+
+Cases PrivacyTools.IO
+
+This is an interesting case, because I guess I am supposedly part of the 
+"we" or at least a team member (unless I have gotten "fired" during the time
+I am typing this) and I have criticized PTIO before finding myself in the
+team. I am not sure or the case being interesting is why I again have
+difficulties finding words while the previous case felt easy to get out. Or
+maybe the problem is that this is actually cases in plural.
+
+PTIO attempts to list tools that preferably anyone can use to protect their
+privacy. There are GitHub issues (where I am active), Discourse Forum (which
+I read thanks to mailing list mode) and a subReddit which I see at times
+when Reddit decides to give me a web push notification. PTIO is also hosting
+some services.
+
+Now I look at the previous paragraph and wonder... What I am asking is
+"who is we", but I could similarly ask who is PTIO, are they also a person
+who happens to be hosting many services and list tools for privacy? Or is it
+a inanimate website which just happens to have a founder and contributions
+by many people on GitHub? And are the websites hosted by PTIO or Barung and
+Jonah who are the service department?
+
+At this point on line 87 this question starts seeming silly, but I am not
+finished yet. Maybe "we" deserves the defence on whether it makes more sense
+to ask whether "we should list X" or whether "X should be listed on PTIO",
+I think I prefer the later form as it doesn't refer to the "we" and thus it
+doesn't bring to existence the others.
+
+I have been reading books by [Jaron Lanier](http://jaronlanier.com/) recently, beginning from
+_Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now_,
+_Who Owns The Future_ and currently I am reading _You Are Not a Gadget_.
+I may be using weird books as I read the first and the last in Finnish while
+I am typing in English so I know the English to Finnish translation of
+Kirsimarja Tielinen and am translating it back to English and it wouldn't be
+very surprising if I ended up to a different translation than the original
+word.
+
+Anyway especially in the first book he mentions a "pack switch" in peoples
+heads and how social media (I wish I knew what was the original name of
+"SUMUTIN") attempts to turn it into the pack position instead of the
+individual postition. I think this and references to it in the other books
+are inspiration for me to be typing this (on line 106 in Neovim) as I have
+been seeing examples of this.
+
+* A Finnish article on how a [YLE reporter met a man who wished for death of his family](https://yle.fi/aihe/artikkeli/2019/05/30/nettivihaa-tyossaan-kohtaava-sami-koivisto-tapasi-miehen-joka-toivoi-hanen).
+    * The reporter had written request [From reporter: don't do a favour to terrorists - don't distribute hate on social media](https://yle.fi/uutiset/3-9786940)
+      which apparently wasn't very liked on a certain imageboard where
+      horrible things were said and this person was sued and met in
+      arbitration and I see this as a case of us-vs-them.
+* Another recent case happened after I had already left Facebook\*, it goes
+  too close to people I know and associations I have responsibility in so I
+  am afraid of bringing the subject up again, so I will just say that there
+  was kind of a manhunt on Facebook and I was afraid that the next day I
+  would be hearing about how the situation escalated into a manhunt and a
+  murder. Luckily that didn't happen and the last I heard was that the
+  police got involved and the situation ended well.
+
+Within this text editor I have gotten sidetracked for one screenful of text,
+I have said that being "we" went badly for me in the past and that there is
+ambiguosity between "PTIO"/"we", referred to books and Finnish events, so
+I should be getting back to the subject.
+
+While PTIO is not a imageboard, I still wonder who is that "we", because if
+there is a "we", there must be those "others" and if there are "others",
+doesn't pack mentality require "them" to be hated and maybe also feared? Who
+are those others? Is it perhaps another privacy site like [PRISM BREAK](https://prism-break.org/en/)
+or people who aren't as privacy concious? Who are privacy concious if I use
+GMail and have Google Play Services on my phone, am I not part of us then? I
+keep removing this sentence as the obvious continuation would be stereotypes
+making me the target.
+
+Recently there was another specific case on PTIO Reddit, someone asked about
+DNS over HTTPS which is one of the issues I have thought the most about:
+
+> [Should we add these settings as recommended hardening on the firefox about:config hardening page?](https://www.reddit.com/r/privacytoolsIO/comments/c9s7qz/adding_dns_over_https_firefox_config_settigs_to/)
+
+There we (haha) have the "we" again, I felt a bit annoyed when Reddit web
+push notification sent me to that page as I was hungry and tired and the
+discussion was had in Reddit instead of at GitHub in [ 💬 Discussion | Firefox eSNI / DoH/TRR #785 ](https://github.com/privacytoolsIO/privacytools.io/issues/785) where I and four other people had discussed it
+previously. There was one nice question on [why everyone just doesn't run their own DNS server](https://www.reddit.com/r/privacytoolsIO/comments/c9s7qz/adding_dns_over_https_firefox_config_settigs_to/et3g7cu) which
+indeed would resolve at least my concerns, but... OK, now I am actually
+getting beside the point.
+
+I think the point is that I wish to provoke you, whoever is reading this,
+into thinking who is that "we" in these scenarios that could happen anywhere.
+
+If I finish up talking about PTIO, I don't know how many people there are
+commenting at GitHub, Discourse, Reddit, Matrix, and whether they are the
+same people everywhere or different and at the risk of sounding stupid or
+elitist, I will say that I have no idea who the person opening the Reddit
+thread is, they are not a member of the GitHub organization nor a moderator
+at Reddit. As I have said previously, I am not active at Reddit, so I don't
+know if they were e.g. the most active poster/commenter there. Who is we?
+Maybe it was the PTIO Reddit users?
+
+I don't like how the previous paragraph turned out, I am bad with words. I
+do hope everyone keeps doing what they like and is welcoming to everyone, I
+hope I made it clear earlier that my argument (if you can get it) undermines
+itself while I said that there probably isn't that much difference in
+"should we do X" or "should PTIO do X". PTIO can only be a sum of everyone
+who contributes into it and if no one contributes, there can be no PTIO.
+
+I still have two cases I intent to touch.
+
+* * * * *
+
+Case *Notes on privacy and data collection of Matrix.org*
+
+*If you ask Maxidorius or other The Grid protocol community members about
+ this, they likely have no idea what I talk about as as with case
+ matrix-appservice-irc it's easier to take the name of where or what caused
+ the discussion, especially in this case as I don't want to promote the
+ quiet channel where this happened.*
+
+The setting is a bit quiet IRC channel where many users happen to be from
+Matrix. Due to the [Notes on privacy and data collection of Matrix.org](https://gist.github.com/maxidorius/5736fd09c9194b7a6dc03b6b8d7220d0)
+and me being a founder, I was asked if "we should ban Matrix so the users will
+be more safe".
+
+I haven't yet addressed the question who is "I", which my original question
+"who is we" begs, I originally planned to not involve it, but it seems like
+I have to at least in a few words. I think it should be enough to say that
+I am not perfect or handle everything well (I have decided to throw this
+post into the drafts directory after I reach the end so I can ask at least
+some PTIO people to comment and why not people from this case too)...
+
+I wasn't my best self at that time either and as this post had been
+demanding to be written for days I started asking who that "we" is. And
+whether everyone who cannot prove running a IRC client at home should be
+banned as while I agree that Matrix is bad in this regard, I at least have
+some sort of idea what it is doing, while I cannot know what are IRCCloud
+and big shells doing (legally secrecy of correspondence would at least
+prevent them from reading what happens in the channel and same applies to
+Matrix, but I cannot know how long anything else is storing data).
+
+Skipping several lines I asked the most active Matrix users (and everyone
+else) what would they do if "the mysterious 'we' decided to ban Matrix users"
+and one response was that they wouldn't bother just for one channel. I also
+said that I wouldn't want to lose anyone.
+
+No one told me who is the "we". I guess having undermined my argument that
+the "we" is people on the channel or at least the most active chatters and
+the not-operator asking the question wishes that the op/user distinction
+to not be that big and the users may also take part on running the channel,
+which I do think is a good idea, but as I said before, the "we" brings the
+idea that there are also the "others" and I don't know who are the others
+either. Are they the Matrix users other than the most active ones? Are they
+those who don't say anything often? Are they those who chat when I am sleeping
+and whom I never chat with directly for that reason?
+
+* * * * *
+
+Case I
+
+LGBT\* circles have the right of self-definition and the right to not define
+self. I wonder if I should take the later right to get out of that difficult
+question, but it doesn't feel right to me, even if I originally didn't plan
+to type this.
+
+I am myself and many things, I may seem to be a different person in a group
+where I feel safe or in a large group of people where I don't know the
+people around. My communication can be very different when I am happy or
+hungry. I am getting sidetracked, am I not?
+
+For the purpose of this post, I am someone who has recovered from mental
+health problems and started attempting to communicate nonviolently. I try
+to be myself, "I", instead of "we" (whoever that was again). I try to make
+clear what are my thoughts and feelings instead of communicating them as
+thoughts/feelings of someone else, be that the mysterious "we" or a project
+that has no life in itself.
+
+I admit that I fail often, I guess that is to be a human, and if you and me
+meet somewhere either in the internet or offline, I am going to fail
+regardless of the language. I wonder if trying can also be thought as the
+learning progress which is part of the journey and the journey is as
+important as the destination.
+
+With these words it's good time to end typing this post and commit this in
+the drafts directory for spamming around for feedback on whether this is
+ready for release in the blog or if there are suggestions how I should change
+specific paragraphs or anything.
+
+Would you mind commenting at: https://github.com/Mikaela/mikaela.github.io/issues/147 ?

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