From 854629e1bf83ec38036692a316dc062eadacd735 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Mikaela Suomalainen Date: Fri, 29 Sep 2017 21:23:11 +0300 Subject: [PATCH] Blog - AS/HSP: Sensory stimulus stress --- ...17-09-29-as-hsp-sensory-stimulus-stress.md | 233 ++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 233 insertions(+) create mode 100644 _posts/2017-09-29-as-hsp-sensory-stimulus-stress.md diff --git a/_posts/2017-09-29-as-hsp-sensory-stimulus-stress.md b/_posts/2017-09-29-as-hsp-sensory-stimulus-stress.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9b1e649 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-09-29-as-hsp-sensory-stimulus-stress.md @@ -0,0 +1,233 @@ +--- +layout: post +comments: true +title: "Autism or High Sensitivity: Sensory stimulus stress" +category: [english] +tags: [irc, english] +--- + +*Sensory stimulus stress (aistiärsykestressi) is a word that you hear from + me often if we are any closer. I have been planning typing this for some + time now, so people would hopefully understand me better.* + +I have no idea how I should type this post, so I will just go to how I feel +like typing this, so I will start from my events of 19th, continue to 20th +and jump to today before trying to explain what is sensory stimulus stress +without examples. + +I guess that before I do that, I should explain the beginning of the title. + +I am an autist (I have diagnosed Asperger's syndrome) and a highly +sensitive person (HSP) and while over (and under) sensitive senses are +associated mainly with autism, they are also part of high sensitivity +and I cannot separate what causes which trait for me. They have some +overlap and some conflicts that are interesting to me. + +* * * * * + +2017-09-19 + +There isn't much to say of that day, I had a dental operation under local +anesthesia. In the evening I was somewhat ill and had to disable some +lights and even then fridge light hurt my eyes. Interestingly after +vomiting my senses were like they usually are. + +2017-09-20 + +Regardless of being ill on the previous night, I found myself from my +politics hobby and agreed to be someone from Young Pirates at Metropolia +University of Applied Sciences term starting sports party MetroSport. + +I started by quickly visiting our office to fetch Pirate vests by taking a +bus and hopping onto metro. From there I continued unfamiliar route using +[Moovit] to reach tram and then to bus stop where I would reach the bus +taking me to Vantaa and the event. + +[Moovit]:https://moovitapp.com/ + +Being a sports event it naturally happened at sports hall where I had to +start by wearing ear fillers and sun glasses as it was so loud, because +of the amount of people and different music from multiple sources and there +were bright lights. + +I spent a few hours there with another Pirate activist before leaving for +open doors of Helsinki Pirates which later turned out to be a mistake. + +We walked to train station from where I took a train and later a metro to +the office again. At first there were only a few of us activists before +other people started appearing and then we possibly had a record on the +amount of new people who were interested about the party. + +I had had too much of draining events, so at some point I left quietly +explaining to activist outside how I was leaving as I had had too much +of sensory stimuluss streaa and I possibly started crying at that point, I +am not sure. + +I am sure that I was crying when I encountered another activist going to +the open doors at metro station where I said the same things. + +*I don't know how much it would be OK for me to say, so I am saying barely + anything about the people involved. I don't know if anyone of them + understood what I meant, but at home I thought more about finally typing + this and wrote it down onto a piece of paper.* + +2017-09-29 (today) + +Last night I slept a little worse than usually and I have been tired and +my senses more sensitive than usually, but not as sensitive as if I was +ill. + +My mother was visiting me and that made me be affected by the world more +than usually. + +First I took a bus to the nearest *open* metro station and went to +Central Railway Station to fetch her, we visited library and returned to +my apartment. Later we ate at nearby salad bar and I escorted her to +tram stop where she continued elsewhere with my grandmother. + +Returning home I had again had too much, this time I didn't cry, but I +think panic attack was close as I was using a full bus which I reached +through full shopping centre that was havomg some sort of a shopping party. + +I survived by focusing on my breathing and listening to music with +wireless earbud/microphone as it wasn't so long bus trip. And then it's +typing this blog with some distractions. + +* * * * * + +Now I have typed some sort of a introduction to this post and some events +on three days, I think it's the time to say why, which I think might +be the most difficult part of this post. + +*I think I should disclaim that I am not a mental health professional or + researcher or neurologist or anything (I do have vocational qualification + on business information technology though) and this is based on my lived + experience (even if I only heard of highly sensitive people this year and + was told that I am one by my therapist) and what I have understood from + talking with professionals, reading books, watchine documentaries etc.* + +When I previously talked with my therapist on the subject, I explained that +it's like there is a battery that is drained by sensory stimulus stress +and breaking down crying is one sign of it being critically low and +requiring recharge. Typing this I guess that panic attack might be +short-circuiting the battery? + +And now I finally get to the point (if I wasn't in the point all the +time?), what is that *sensory stimulus stress*? It's everything that is +sensed, regardless of whether it's positive, neutral or negative. I think +positive might drain the battery slower than negative would, but it will +drain regardless. + +If you have any knowledge about autism, you probably know that people on +the spectrum need time to recover from social interactions. Do you know +why? Yes, sensory stimulus stress is behind it too, hearing other people, +hearing own talking, background noise, looking anywhere, colours. +Especially maintaining eye contact is a good way of draining. + +If I return to the first day/night that I talked about, I was ill, so my +senses were a lot more sensitive than usually so even the fridge light +hurt my eyes while often I might not be mindful about it being there. + +On the second day, there were the people, the buses, the trams, PA systems, +escalators, metros, music (that I listened during transport to drain more +slowly), lights and everything. As with illness, stress also causes faster +draining and stress is easy to get by going into a new situation at new +place with new people and being hungry makes highly sensitive people +horrible. + +On the third day, today, there were other people (naturally, I live in the +capital of Finland), bus, escalators, metro, musician between central +railway station and the metro station, PA systems, talking with mother, +grocery store noises, being at my apartment with mother having tea and +talking, during lunch there was also some machine keeping noise etc. + +I think this is the place for the *do you hear sounds that other people +don't hear* joke. *Yes, I do, as my family is half-deaf and we have family +joke on how I should share some of my hearing* even if how good and how +sensitive hearing is are two separate things. + +I think this post is finished with the exception of one thing which I am +not sure if I wish to type. However I feel that my typing finally started +flowing well after hours of trying to get this into words and I think +it would be unfair from me to say that everything is draining, so I think +I should type some of the methods that I discussed with my previous +therapist to ease the situation. + +*I must again disclaim that this might only apply to me and not to you + (when did I make the reader another aspie or HSP?), and I should + probably say that my senses are mostly oversensitive except that my + sense of touch defies logic and can either make me feel "hug deprived" and + wishing that someone would touch me or send me into panic attack from + someone accidentally touching me from behind...* + +* General: Pushing the wall with strength for around 15 to 30 seconds. +* Hearing: Music that you like from earbuds or similar, preferably + something that reminds you of some very good experience. +* Seeing: pastel/pale colours. + * I would like to add that bright colours are especially bad and I hate + stripes and balls and dots and prefer my clothing to be single colour + while I might wear clothes that I would dislike seeing. + * I think we talked something about black being a neutral colour that + isn't draining while it might not help easing sensory stimulus stress + either. I recommend using dark themes on phones and everything that + has the option for it. + * Smell: leaving the situation or avoiding, but it might also help to + get a pleasant smelling lip balm that could be stealthily smelled + while applying it. + * Sense: massaging with a (stress) ball. + * I would very often like a hug or to be touched, but when I am + asked if anyone can do anything to help me, I will lie and say + nothing as I am often ashamed of having undersensitive sense of + touch (if I can say that, as I said before, it defies logic and + all rules that I try to put on it to explain how it works). I + think it's this Finnish culture. + * I think sense of touch might be some kind of a inbuild + recovery method andchoring me to this moment or giving me + strength to continue from overwhelming. + * And I naturally forgot something important, overwhelming + is how *The Highly Sensitive Person* calls the situation + with too much sensory stimulus stress ane need for + recharging. Before encountering *high sensitivity*, I + used words "soft limit" where warning signals started + appearing about coming panic attack or having had too + much sensory stimulus stress and needing rest and if I + borrow the term from ICT, why I wouldn't call panic + attacks as hard limit? + * Finns, this overwhelming is the same thing as + *ylivirittyneisyys*. + * and now I probably said more than I wondered if + I wanted to say above. I wonder how horrible will + this post look at on the blog while this looks + this funny in Vim which I am using to type + this... +* Motion: calm/slow moves + * If I recall correctly, there was some reason why the previous + therapist wanted to put motion as a sense, but I cannot remember + what the actual reason was. I think I haven't ever had an issue + with motion other than having the motorical clumsiness that I think + is part of diagnostic criteria from autism. + +And now I think I am actually finished with a few hours spend typing this +and just moving onto the 209th line in Vim. In the end I only want to say +that remember that you aren't alone, 20% of the population are estimated +to be highly sensitive people and while I don't know the percent for +people on autism spectrum, there is at least one of us in mostly every +IRC channel that you can find. + +I think I should also link to +[Wikipedia: Sensory processing sensitivity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_sensitivity) and [HSPerson.com](http://hsperson.com/) and +why not to [their self/tests](http://www.hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/) +in case you are like me and haven't encountered it before or haven't +thought that it has anything to do with you. + +I trust that you have heard something of autism or that you are able to +find information about it easily while High Sensitivity is very unknown. + +Oh, the *Highly Sensitive Person* book didn't comment much on on autism +or that one person might be both, so I want to link you to their blog +[About High Sensitivity, Autism, and Neurodiversity](http://hsperson.com/about-high-sensitivity-autism-and-neurodiversity/). + +And now I am finally going to end typing this at 230 lines, I hope that +this post was any help or at least not negative or including misinformation +or anything, but if that would happen to be the case, please do tell +me [by opening an issue!](https://github.com/mikaela/mikaela.github.io/issues)