From 0016ddc82866ea1a0802f19a8c1d29f94990a9a2 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Aminda Suomalainen Date: Sun, 21 Aug 2022 22:34:24 +0300 Subject: [PATCH] blog/drafts: give up on 2019-07-08-who-is-we.md Resolves: #147 --- blog/_drafts/2019-07-08-who-is-we.md | 247 --------------------------- 1 file changed, 247 deletions(-) delete mode 100644 blog/_drafts/2019-07-08-who-is-we.md diff --git a/blog/_drafts/2019-07-08-who-is-we.md b/blog/_drafts/2019-07-08-who-is-we.md deleted file mode 100644 index 2e48059..0000000 --- a/blog/_drafts/2019-07-08-who-is-we.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,247 +0,0 @@ ---- -layout: post -title: "Who is we?" -category: [english] -tags: [english, life] ---- - -*This is a question that has been bothering me for a week or so and now the - time is ripe for blogging, even if I have no answers.* - -I am typing and backspacing this line, I don't know how to properly begin -and format my message, or if my message can be understood. I think I will -begin by listing what events have lead me to think of the question, who is -"we". - -* * * * * - -Case redacted - -I feel anxious returning to thinking about this case which I have removed -from my blog even if git remembers, I appreciate if you don't start digging -for more of that story. I don't even remember how it went. - -There was a project and there was drama. I was "given permission" -(how exactly?) to talk as "we", I think it's simple to say it went to my -head and bad things happened. - -* * * * * - -Case matrix-appservice-irc - -*I am not affiliated with New Vector or Matrix.org and neither are the - people I am going to describe, it's just easy to pick the name of the - project based on where this happened. I guess the people may not even - remember this incident, unless they are harbouring similar thoughts and - going to write their versions of this post.* - -I am not sure how to talk about this either, but after having told about -*redacted* I feel less anxious as this happened after my worst mental health -problems. - -There is a group of people. There is someone others don't get along with -well and another one whom people get along with a bit better. - -The first person asks whether "we" should do something (funnily I have no -memory of what, but it's irrelevant to this post as this could have happened -anywhere) and I think what happened was the second person starting to -challenge the first one asking who are they to talk about "we". Can you -guess what happens next? - -I still don't remember what exactly happened, but within the same -discussion the second person starts talking similar things as "we". I think -this time I am the one challenging them, asking how does their "we" differ -from the "we" of the first person or why are they allowed to say "we" while -the first one cannot. - -I think there were hurt feelings and I faintly remember talking about it -with a third person, who I think agreed that there wasn't difference between -those "we"s and maybe even said that it was good that I pointed it out? I -don't remember, but I might regardless be typing this post and I have at -least two more cases. - -* * * * * - -Cases PrivacyTools.IO - -This is an interesting case, because I guess I am supposedly part of the -"we" or at least a team member (unless I have gotten "fired" during the time -I am typing this) and I have criticized PTIO before finding myself in the -team. I am not sure or the case being interesting is why I again have -difficulties finding words while the previous case felt easy to get out. Or -maybe the problem is that this is actually cases in plural. - -PTIO attempts to list tools that preferably anyone can use to protect their -privacy. There are GitHub issues (where I am active), Discourse Forum (which -I read thanks to mailing list mode) and a subReddit which I see at times -when Reddit decides to give me a web push notification. PTIO is also hosting -some services. - -Now I look at the previous paragraph and wonder... What I am asking is -"who is we", but I could similarly ask who is PTIO, are they also a person -who happens to be hosting many services and list tools for privacy? Or is it -a inanimate website which just happens to have a founder and contributions -by many people on GitHub? And are the websites hosted by PTIO or Barung and -Jonah who are the service department? - -At this point on line 87 this question starts seeming silly, but I am not -finished yet. Maybe "we" deserves the defence on whether it makes more sense -to ask whether "we should list X" or whether "X should be listed on PTIO", -I think I prefer the later form as it doesn't refer to the "we" and thus it -doesn't bring to existence the others. - -I have been reading books by [Jaron Lanier](http://jaronlanier.com/) recently, beginning from -_Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now_, -_Who Owns The Future_ and currently I am reading _You Are Not a Gadget_. -I may be using weird books as I read the first and the last in Finnish while -I am typing in English so I know the English to Finnish translation of -Kirsimarja Tielinen and am translating it back to English and it wouldn't be -very surprising if I ended up to a different translation than the original -word. - -Anyway especially in the first book he mentions a "pack switch" in peoples -heads and how social media (I wish I knew what was the original name of -"SUMUTIN") attempts to turn it into the pack position instead of the -individual postition. I think this and references to it in the other books -are inspiration for me to be typing this (on line 106 in Neovim) as I have -been seeing examples of this. - -* A Finnish article on how a [YLE reporter met a man who wished for death of his family](https://yle.fi/aihe/artikkeli/2019/05/30/nettivihaa-tyossaan-kohtaava-sami-koivisto-tapasi-miehen-joka-toivoi-hanen). - * The reporter had written request [From reporter: don't do a favour to terrorists - don't distribute hate on social media](https://yle.fi/uutiset/3-9786940) - which apparently wasn't very liked on a certain imageboard where - horrible things were said and this person was sued and met in - arbitration and I see this as a case of us-vs-them. -* Another recent case happened after I had already left Facebook\*, it goes - too close to people I know and associations I have responsibility in so I - am afraid of bringing the subject up again, so I will just say that there - was kind of a manhunt on Facebook and I was afraid that the next day I - would be hearing about how the situation escalated into a manhunt and a - murder. Luckily that didn't happen and the last I heard was that the - police got involved and the situation ended well. - -Within this text editor I have gotten sidetracked for one screenful of text, -I have said that being "we" went badly for me in the past and that there is -ambiguosity between "PTIO"/"we", referred to books and Finnish events, so -I should be getting back to the subject. - -While PTIO is not a imageboard, I still wonder who is that "we", because if -there is a "we", there must be those "others" and if there are "others", -doesn't pack mentality require "them" to be hated and maybe also feared? Who -are those others? Is it perhaps another privacy site like [PRISM BREAK](https://prism-break.org/en/) -or people who aren't as privacy concious? Who are privacy concious if I use -GMail and have Google Play Services on my phone, am I not part of us then? I -keep removing this sentence as the obvious continuation would be stereotypes -making me the target. - -Recently there was another specific case on PTIO Reddit, someone asked about -DNS over HTTPS which is one of the issues I have thought the most about: - -> [Should we add these settings as recommended hardening on the firefox about:config hardening page?](https://www.reddit.com/r/privacytoolsIO/comments/c9s7qz/adding_dns_over_https_firefox_config_settigs_to/) - -There we (haha) have the "we" again, I felt a bit annoyed when Reddit web -push notification sent me to that page as I was hungry and tired and the -discussion was had in Reddit instead of at GitHub in [ 💬 Discussion | Firefox eSNI / DoH/TRR #785 ](https://github.com/privacytoolsIO/privacytools.io/issues/785) where I and four other people had discussed it -previously. There was one nice question on [why everyone just doesn't run their own DNS server](https://www.reddit.com/r/privacytoolsIO/comments/c9s7qz/adding_dns_over_https_firefox_config_settigs_to/et3g7cu) which -indeed would resolve at least my concerns, but... OK, now I am actually -getting beside the point. - -I think the point is that I wish to provoke you, whoever is reading this, -into thinking who is that "we" in these scenarios that could happen anywhere. - -If I finish up talking about PTIO, I don't know how many people there are -commenting at GitHub, Discourse, Reddit, Matrix, and whether they are the -same people everywhere or different and at the risk of sounding stupid or -elitist, I will say that I have no idea who the person opening the Reddit -thread is, they are not a member of the GitHub organization nor a moderator -at Reddit. As I have said previously, I am not active at Reddit, so I don't -know if they were e.g. the most active poster/commenter there. Who is we? -Maybe it was the PTIO Reddit users? - -I don't like how the previous paragraph turned out, I am bad with words. I -do hope everyone keeps doing what they like and is welcoming to everyone, I -hope I made it clear earlier that my argument (if you can get it) undermines -itself while I said that there probably isn't that much difference in -"should we do X" or "should PTIO do X". PTIO can only be a sum of everyone -who contributes into it and if no one contributes, there can be no PTIO. - -I still have two cases I intent to touch. - -* * * * * - -Case *Notes on privacy and data collection of Matrix.org* - -*If you ask Maxidorius or other The Grid protocol community members about - this, they likely have no idea what I talk about as as with case - matrix-appservice-irc it's easier to take the name of where or what caused - the discussion, especially in this case as I don't want to promote the - quiet channel where this happened.* - -The setting is a bit quiet IRC channel where many users happen to be from -Matrix. Due to the [Notes on privacy and data collection of Matrix.org](https://gist.github.com/maxidorius/5736fd09c9194b7a6dc03b6b8d7220d0) -and me being a founder, I was asked if "we should ban Matrix so the users will -be more safe". - -I haven't yet addressed the question who is "I", which my original question -"who is we" begs, I originally planned to not involve it, but it seems like -I have to at least in a few words. I think it should be enough to say that -I am not perfect or handle everything well (I have decided to throw this -post into the drafts directory after I reach the end so I can ask at least -some PTIO people to comment and why not people from this case too)... - -I wasn't my best self at that time either and as this post had been -demanding to be written for days I started asking who that "we" is. And -whether everyone who cannot prove running a IRC client at home should be -banned as while I agree that Matrix is bad in this regard, I at least have -some sort of idea what it is doing, while I cannot know what are IRCCloud -and big shells doing (legally secrecy of correspondence would at least -prevent them from reading what happens in the channel and same applies to -Matrix, but I cannot know how long anything else is storing data). - -Skipping several lines I asked the most active Matrix users (and everyone -else) what would they do if "the mysterious 'we' decided to ban Matrix users" -and one response was that they wouldn't bother just for one channel. I also -said that I wouldn't want to lose anyone. - -No one told me who is the "we". I guess having undermined my argument that -the "we" is people on the channel or at least the most active chatters and -the not-operator asking the question wishes that the op/user distinction -to not be that big and the users may also take part on running the channel, -which I do think is a good idea, but as I said before, the "we" brings the -idea that there are also the "others" and I don't know who are the others -either. Are they the Matrix users other than the most active ones? Are they -those who don't say anything often? Are they those who chat when I am sleeping -and whom I never chat with directly for that reason? - -* * * * * - -Case I - -LGBT\* circles have the right of self-definition and the right to not define -self. I wonder if I should take the later right to get out of that difficult -question, but it doesn't feel right to me, even if I originally didn't plan -to type this. - -I am myself and many things, I may seem to be a different person in a group -where I feel safe or in a large group of people where I don't know the -people around. My communication can be very different when I am happy or -hungry. I am getting sidetracked, am I not? - -For the purpose of this post, I am someone who has recovered from mental -health problems and started attempting to communicate nonviolently. I try -to be myself, "I", instead of "we" (whoever that was again). I try to make -clear what are my thoughts and feelings instead of communicating them as -thoughts/feelings of someone else, be that the mysterious "we" or a project -that has no life in itself. - -I admit that I fail often, I guess that is to be a human, and if you and me -meet somewhere either in the internet or offline, I am going to fail -regardless of the language. I wonder if trying can also be thought as the -learning progress which is part of the journey and the journey is as -important as the destination. - -With these words it's good time to end typing this post and commit this in -the drafts directory for spamming around for feedback on whether this is -ready for release in the blog or if there are suggestions how I should change -specific paragraphs or anything. - -Would you mind commenting at: https://github.com/Mikaela/mikaela.github.io/issues/147 ?