mikaela.github.io/pages/about.markdown

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layout: page
permalink: /about.html
excerpt: "A little about me on transness, Asperger's syndrome/autism, feminism, asexuality & using Linux."
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<em>Even if I talk about these things openly here, I prefer that
<strong>you don't talk about me being these minorities to anyone</strong>
and <strong>let me tell by myself</strong> if I see reason to do it.
People interested enough can put my name to any search engine and find here sooner or later.</em>

<em>If you did out me, you would risk me being treated differently and
possibly cause dangerous concequences.</em>

On this page I am trying to explain myself more or those things that you
might wonder in my self-description. Some things that I explain here may
overlap with different features.

*For more material about these things, please see [GRSM links](/links2).*

<!--

## TL;DR

I am a [trans woman] (and I have a [penis]). I am also [asexual] (which
means that I am not interested in sex with anyone) and aspie (which means
that I have [Asperger's syndrome].

[trans woman]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trans_woman
[penis]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis#Humans
[asexual]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality
[Asperger's syndrome]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

Another thing is that I am [poly]-curious, so I might be [poly], but I
don't know yet, so all [relationships should be open]. If it turns out
that I am not [poly], I will just break up.

[poly]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
[relationships should be open]:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_relationship

*If this looks familiar, it's improved version of my old OKC profile and
thus I don't think it should be on this page, so it's commented.

-->

## GirlsLikeUs — I am trans woman

It simply means that I was incorrectly defined as boy at birth which I
never was. I didn't always know it, but around 14-15 Dysphoria really hit
me.

I was always different from boys and I have been always bullied and I
became suicidal and depressed. I was diagnosed with AS which didn't so
much, but finally I came to realization on who I am and started the
progress to be recognized as myself.

As the progress is too slow in Finland I ended up starting HRT by myself
(like many (if not most) of us here do) and was on it for year before
getting diagnosed and getting HRT officially.

Many people have said that I am nowadays happier and smile more and other
things like that and I know this is who I am.

It's also not very nice when you separate sex and gender by saying "your
gender can be female, but you are always biologically male" and it has
been noted multiple times that gender is biological.
*[GRSM links](/links2)*

*I feel this part doesn't transmit how being trans feels and some things
should possibly be mentioned here...*

## AS - Asperger's Syndrome

I am AS-person and you might see it from the way I write and speak. I have
some over-sensitive senses like sense of hearing and it becomes difficult
for me to speak if I try to look into your eyes at the same time, so I am
not trying to be impolite or anything, it's just easier to not look at you
while I speak. Same applies to understanding your speaking.

*This paragraph is stub -.-*

## Ace

I am demiromantic asexual. That means that I

* can feel romantic attraction when I have formed close emotional bond
  with someone regardless of gender.
* don't feel sexual attraction.
* can feel aesthetic attraction though.

The Ace of Diamonds (🃁) that you can see in my biography means *demiromantic asexual* or *demisexual*. Ace is asexual slang and means asexual
*(surprise!)* and the playing cards have been adopted into different
orientations.

*I feel I should type something more here, but I have no idea what...*

## Poly-curious

*This part will get renamed and rewritten when I find out which I am if
 ever and this doesn't read on the short bio as I consider it as irrelevant
 there. People are more likely to seek for trans/aspie/ace people than
 poly for some sort of peer support.*

I might be poly, but I am not sure. If I am, that means that I can have
multiple partners and that is some sort of requirement of asexuality as
relationships between asexual and allosexual (person who feels at least
average level of sexual attraction) are doomed to fail unless at least the
allosexual is poly and can satisfy their sexual desires elsewhere.

I think that if I am poly, the most suitable relationship type is possibly
open relationship.

Further reading:
* [Polyamory at Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory)
* [Open relationship at Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_relationship)
* [More Than Two](https://www.morethantwo.com/)

*Does this page have worse section?*

## Feminist

I support equal rights for everyone and the right of self-definition (or
not requiring anyone to define themselves). Everyone should also be the one
to choose what they do with their body (abortion, gender transition etc.)
freely without complicated researchs and other people or society judging
them.

*This is basicaly everything, but shouldn't I also say something more?*

## Linux user

I have been used Linux since 2008, I started with [Ubuntu] \(8.04).
My preferred distribution is [Ubuntu MATE] or [Arch Linux] or with servers
[Debian], but I am also familiar with other distributions, mainly
[Debian]-deriatives. 

I have experience with [Fedora] and other distributions from that side too
and I am not entirely lost while using them, but somehow I have always
preferred Debian side. Maybe it's just that I have learned to use it.

[Ubuntu]:http://www.ubuntu.com/desktop
[Ubuntu MATE]:https://ubuntu-mate.org/
[Ubuntu Server]:http://www.ubuntu.com/server
[Debian]:https://www.debian.org/
[Fedora]:https://getfedora.org
[Antergos]:http://antergos.com/
[MATE]:http://mate-desktop.org/
[SDDM]:https://github.com/sddm

*Hah, this is the only part of the page I feel is enough descriptive...*

*Update: every time I read this this seems to be outdated and is possibly
 getting removed entirely sometime.*

## Life

This link list to life post on my blog shouldn't be here, but it has no
better place, so where else should it be?

* [2015-03-25: Leaving bot communities & a little on my life]({% post_url 2015-03-25-leaving-bots-life %})
* [2015-04-03: Scum]({% post_url 2015-04-03-scum %})
    * [2015-04-01: Saasta (same in Finnish)]({% post_url 2015-04-01-saasta %})
* [2015-05-18: Somewhat more on my life & untold background of bots]({% post_url 2015-05-18-life-bot-background %})
* [2015-06-16: Feelings and wounds of school bullying]({% post_url 2015-06-16-feelings %})
* [2015-06-29: Google translated "suicide post"](https://translate.google.fi/translate?sl=fi&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=fi&ie=UTF-8&u=https%3A%2F%2Fmikaela.info%2Ffinnish%2F2015%2F06%2F29%2Fminusta.html&edit-text=)
    * *I was at psychiatrical hospital after writing this.*
* [2015-11-03: I moved to Lauttasaari, Helsinki]({% post_url 2015-11-03-moving %})
    * way too positive for this section, but where else...
* [2015-11-21: Email to Legal Affairs Committee on how trans law must be based on the right of self-definition](https://translate.google.fi/translate?sl=fi&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&u=https%3A%2F%2Fmikaela.info%2Ffinnish%2F2015%2F11%2F21%2Fsahkopostia-lakivaliokunnalle-translaki.html&edit-text=)

* * * * *

*Please keep in mind that everything in this page is just my opinion and
not all trans or AS or \<any group\> people are the exact same.*