--purges $who
beats $who senseless with a 50lb Unix manual
cats /dev/urandom into $who's ear
chops $who in half with a free AOL CD
chops $who in half with a free Solaris 7 CD
decapitates $who conan the destroyer style
does a little 'renice 20 -u $who'
drops a truckload of VAXen on $who
duct-tapes $who to the floor and drools on him
frags $who with his BFG9000
holds $who to the floor and spanks him with a cat-o-nine-tails
judo chops $who
pours hot grits down the front of $who's pants
pulls out his louisville slugger and uses $who's head to break the homerun record
pushes the wall down onto $who whilst whistling innocently
resizes $who's terminal to 40x24
rm -rf's $who
stabs $who
steals $who's mojo
strangles $who with a doohicky mouse cord
urinates on $who
whacks $who with the cluebat
whips out a sword and chops $who in half