From 82c53b2af762371bfa53bb64e60fd32d265cedc9 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Pragmatic Software Date: Fri, 15 Jul 2016 13:34:19 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] Add insults offline text file --- modules/insults.txt | 112 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 112 insertions(+) create mode 100644 modules/insults.txt diff --git a/modules/insults.txt b/modules/insults.txt new file mode 100644 index 00000000..b3fd666a --- /dev/null +++ b/modules/insults.txt @@ -0,0 +1,112 @@ +Any similarity between you and a human is pure coincidence. +As a failure, you are a tremendous success. +Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. +Congratulations; you're a perfect argument against brother-sister marriages. +Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? +Did your sideshow leave town without you? +Don't be ignorant your whole life, take a day off why don't you? +Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth? +Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? +Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you? +Everyone has the right to be ugly, but I'm afraid you've abused the privilege. +Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds. +Have you considered suing your brains for lack of support? +Have your parents ever asked you to run away? +He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe. +Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change! +He's the kind of guy who'd put his wife on the dresser and kiss his wallet goodnight. +Hey buddy that's a nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance? +I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it. +I bet your mother has a loud bark! +I'd like to give you a going-away present.....First, you do your part. +I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. +I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! +I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. +I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening. +If brains were taxed, you would certainly be owed a refund. +If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used. +If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive. +If truth is stranger than fiction, then you must be truth! +If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide! +If your parents got a divorce, would they still be brother and sister? +If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid. +I heard that an exclusive club just accepted you as a member... they must need someone to snub. +I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper? +I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! +I know one should judge a man by what he really is instead of by appearances, but you are REALLY ugly. +I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. +I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying. +I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? +I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? +I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception +I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. +Just out of curiosity, are your parents siblings? +Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent. +Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control! +Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today? +Love the coat. You were lucky to get so much material. +Next time you open your mouth, try to say something interesting. +Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade. +Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn. +Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested. +Save your breath... you'll need it to blow up your date. +See, that's what's meant by dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome. +Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly? +Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it. +Somebody said to me that you ain't fit to sleep with the pigs. Well, I stuck up for the pigs. +Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but it looks like this guy just gargled. +So now we know why some mammals eat their children. +Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission... +The next time you shave, could you stand an inch or two closer to the razor please? +This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person. +Well, they do say opposites attract...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured. +We think of you when we are lonely. Then we are content to be alone. +Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because there is nothing blocking the traffic. +When you were born, did they let your Mother out of her cell? +Which village is missing its idiot? +Who picked out your clothes this morning... Stevie Wonder? +Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma. +Yeah, yeah, keep talking, someday you might say something intelligent. +You are a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. +You are a day late and a dollar short. +You are a few clowns short of a circus +You are all Preparation and no H. +You are down to earth, but not quite far down enough. +You are not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree +You are not the sharpest knife in the drawer. +You are the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot. +You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified. +You have a Titanic intellect in a world full of icebergs +You have the face like a Saint - a Saint Bernard. +You must be an experiment in Artificial Stupidity. +You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. +You're a habit I'd like to kick -- with both feet. +You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!! +You remind me of the ocean - you make me sick. +You remind me of the ocean -- you make me sick. +You're not stupid... just possessed by a retarded ghost. +You're so fat, when you go to a restaurant, you look at the menu and say "okay!" +You're so fat, when you go to the zoo, elephants throw you peanuts. +You're so fat, when your beeper goes off, people think you're backing up. +You're so fat, when you step on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please!" +You're so fat, you had to go to Sea World to get baptized. +You're so fat, you have to iron your pants in the driveway. +You're so fat, your senior picture had to be taken from a helicopter. +You're so hairy, it looks like you've got Buckwheat in a headlock. +You're so old, when you were a kid, rainbows were in black and white. +You're so poor, burglars break into your house...and leave money. +You're so poor, that instead of a doorbell, your sister stands outside and yells "ding dong" when people push her nose. +You're so stupid, it takes you 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. +You're so stupid, when you saw an NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign at the movie theatre, you went home and found 16 friends. +You're so stupid, you bought a solar-powered flashlight. +You're so stupid, you sold your car for gas money. +You're so stupid, you think a quarterback is a refund. +You're so stupid, you thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company. +Your face reminds me of a movie star. Lassie! +Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained. +Your verbosity is exceeded only by your total stupidity. +You should find out if your university has a refund policy. +You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control. +You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since! +You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now I see that you are just the opposite - you are obnoxious and arrogant. +You've got more chins than a Chinese phone book!