From 507e3553f68a0b4739d01612948976a72881b0ab Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Pragmatic Software Date: Tue, 25 May 2010 02:58:29 +0000 Subject: [PATCH] Adding fnord module --- modules/fnord.pl | 12 +++++++++ modules/fnord.txt | 69 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 2 files changed, 81 insertions(+) create mode 100755 modules/fnord.pl create mode 100644 modules/fnord.txt diff --git a/modules/fnord.pl b/modules/fnord.pl new file mode 100755 index 00000000..807e612d --- /dev/null +++ b/modules/fnord.pl @@ -0,0 +1,12 @@ +#!/usr/bin/perl + +use warnings; +use strict; + +open FH, "; + +close FH; + +print "$lines[int rand($#lines + 1)]\n"; diff --git a/modules/fnord.txt b/modules/fnord.txt new file mode 100644 index 00000000..4e00bc81 --- /dev/null +++ b/modules/fnord.txt @@ -0,0 +1,69 @@ +Fnord is evaporated herbal tea without the herbs. +Fnord is that funny feeling you get when you reach for the Snickers bar and come back holding a slurpee. +Fnord is the 43 1/3rd state, next to Wyoming. +Fnord is this really, really tall mountain. +Fnord is the reason boxes of condoms carry twelve instead of ten. +Fnord is the blue stripes in the road that never get painted. +Fnord is place where those socks vanish off to in the laundry. +Fnord is an arcade game like Pacman without the little dots. +Fnord is a little pufflike cloud you see at 5pm. +Fnord is the tool the dentist uses on unruly patients. +Fnord is the blank paper that cassette labels are printed on. +Fnord is where the buses hide at night. +Fnord is the empty pages at the end of the book. +Fnord is the screw that falls from the car for no reason. +Fnord is why Burger King uses paper instead of foam. +Fnord is the little green pebble in your shoe. +Fnord is the orange print in the yellow pages. +Fnord is a pickle without the bumps. +Fnord is why ducks eat trees. +Fnord is toast without bread. +Fnord is a venetian blind without the slats. +Fnord is the lint in the navel of the mites that eat the lint in the navel of the mites that eat the lint in Fnord's navel. +Fnord is an apostrophe on drugs. +Fnord is the bucket where they keep the unused serifs for H*lvetica. +Fnord is the gunk that sticks to the inside of your car's fenders. +Fnord is the source of all the zero bits in your computer. +Fnord is the echo of silence. +Fnord is the parsley on the plate of life. +Fnord is the sales tax on happiness. +Fnord is the preposition at the end of sixpence. +Fnord is the feeling in your brain when you hold your breath too long. +Fnord is the reason latent homosexuals stay latent. +Fnord is the donut hole. Fnord is the whole donut. +Fnord is an annoying series of email messages. +Fnord is the color only blind people can see. +Fnord is the serial number on a box of cereal. +Fnord is the Universe with decreasing entropy. +Fnord is a naked woman with herpes simplex 428. +Fnord is the yin without yang. +Fnord is a pyrotumescent retrograde onyx obelisk. +Fnord is why lisp has so many parentheses. +Fnord is the the four-leaf clover with a missing leaf. +Fnord is double-jointed and has a cubic spline. +Fnord never sleeps. +Fnord is the "een" in baleen whale. +Fnord is neither a particle nor a wave. +Fnord is the space in between the pixels on your screen. +Fnord is the guy that writes the Infiniti ads. +Fnord is the nut in peanut butter and jelly. +Fnord is an antebellum flagellum fella. +Fnord is a sentient vacuum cleaner. +Fnord is the smallest number greater than zero. +Fnord lives in the empty space above a decimal point. +Fnord is the odd-colored scale on a dragon's back. +Fnord is the redundant coin slot on arcade games. +Fnord was last seen in Omaha, Nebraska. +Fnord is the founding father of the phrase "founding father". +Fnord is the last bit of sand you can't get out of your shoe. +Fnord is Jesus's speech advisor. +Fnord keeps a spare eyebrow in his pocket. +Fnord invented the green hubcap. +Fnord is why doctors ask you to cough. +Fnord is the "ooo" in varooom of race cars. +Fnord uses two bathtubs at once. +I cannot escape them / No matter how I try / They wait for me everywhere / I cannot pass them by. +Driving down the street / I see "Jesus Is Lord" / And then immediately after / I hear the word "FNORD!" +Innocuous sayings and parables / And on the evening news / I hear the word "FNORD!" / And suddenly I'm confused +I sit alone in my room / And I'm feeling rather bored / I turn on the tube and guess what / I hear the word "FNORD!" +"Don't see the fnords and they won't eat you" / That's what I've heard the wisemen say / But I can't get away from those beasties / There's just no fucking way.