diff --git a/modules/sstats/api.js b/modules/sstats/api.js
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2ca5a30
--- /dev/null
+++ b/modules/sstats/api.js
@@ -0,0 +1,45 @@
+var _ = require('underscore')._,
+    databank = require('databank');
+
+var api = function(dbot) {
+    var api = {
+        'getUserStats': function(id, callback) {
+            this.db.read('user_stats', id, function(err, uStats) {
+                callback(uStats); 
+            });
+        },
+
+        'createUserStats': function(id, callback) {
+            var uStats = {
+                'id': id,
+                'lines': 0,
+                'channels': {}
+            };
+            this.db.save('user_stats', id, uStats, function(err, uStats) {
+                callback(uStats); 
+            });
+        },
+
+        'getChannelStats': function(id, callback) {
+            this.db.read('channel_stats', id, function(err, cStats) {
+                callback(cStats);
+            });
+        },
+
+        'createChannelStats': function(id, callback) {
+            var cStats = {
+                'id': id,
+                'lines': 0
+            };
+            this.db.save('channel_stats', id, cStats, function(err, cStats) {
+                callback(cStats);
+            });
+        }
+    };
+
+    return api;
+};
+
+exports.fetch = function(dbot) {
+    return api(dbot);
+};
diff --git a/modules/sstats/commands.js b/modules/sstats/commands.js
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9e1a58c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/modules/sstats/commands.js
@@ -0,0 +1,50 @@
+var _ = require('underscore')._;
+
+var commands = function(dbot) {
+    var commands = {
+        '~lines': function(event) {
+            if(event.params[1]) {
+                dbot.api.users.resolveUser(event.server, event.user, function(user) {
+                    if(user) { // I disgust me
+                        event.rUser = user;
+                        delete event['params'];
+                        commands['~lines'](event);
+                    } else {
+                        event.reply(dbot.t('sstats_unknown_user'));
+                    }
+                });
+            } else {
+                this.api.getUserStats(event.rUser.id, function(uStats) {
+                    if(uStats) {
+                        var output = dbot.t('sstats_tlines', { 
+                            'user': event.rUser.primaryNick,
+                            'lines': uStats.lines 
+                        });
+                        if(event.rChannel && _.has(uStats.channels, event.rChannel.id)) {
+                            output += dbot.t('sstats_uclines', { 
+                                'channel': event.channel,
+                                'lines': uStats.channels[event.rChannel.id].lines 
+                            });
+                        }
+                        event.reply(output);
+                    } else {
+                        event.reply(dbot.t('sstats_noustats'));
+                    }
+                });       
+            }
+        },
+
+        '~clines': function(event) {
+            if(!event.cStats) return;
+            event.reply(dbot.t('sstats_clines', { 
+                'channel': event.channel, 
+                'lines': event.cStats.lines 
+            }));
+        }
+    };
+    return commands;
+};
+
+exports.fetch = function(dbot) {
+    return commands(dbot);
+};
diff --git a/modules/sstats/config.json b/modules/sstats/config.json
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9dfa6ad
--- /dev/null
+++ b/modules/sstats/config.json
@@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
+{
+    "dbType": "redis",
+    "dependencies": [ "users" ]
+}
diff --git a/modules/sstats/sstats.js b/modules/sstats/sstats.js
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c093abd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/modules/sstats/sstats.js
@@ -0,0 +1,60 @@
+/**
+ * Module Name: sstats
+ * Description: Simple Stats, in the absence of good ones.
+ */
+var _ = require('underscore')._;
+
+var sstats = function(dbot) {
+    this.listener = function(event) {
+        event.cStats.lines++;
+        event.uStats.lines++;
+        if(!_.has(event.uStats.channels, event.rChannel.id)) {
+            event.uStats.channels[event.rChannel.id] = { 
+                'lines': 1
+            };
+        } else {
+            event.uStats.channels[event.rChannel.id].lines++;
+        }
+        this.db.save('channel_stats', event.cStats.id, event.cStats, function() {});
+        this.db.save('user_stats', event.uStats.id, event.uStats, function() {});
+    }.bind(this);
+    this.on = 'PRIVMSG';
+
+    this.onLoad = function() {
+        // Preload user stats
+        dbot.instance.addPreEmitHook(function(event, callback) {
+            if(!event.rUser) return callback();
+            this.api.getUserStats(event.rUser.id, function(uStats) {
+                if(uStats) {
+                    event.uStats = uStats;
+                    callback();
+                } else {
+                    this.api.createUserStats(event.rUser.id, function(uStats) {
+                        event.uStats = uStats;
+                        callback();
+                    });
+                }
+            }.bind(this));
+        }.bind(this));
+
+        // Preload channel stats
+        dbot.instance.addPreEmitHook(function(event, callback) {
+            if(!event.rChannel) return callback();
+            this.api.getChannelStats(event.rChannel.id, function(cStats) {
+                if(cStats) {
+                    event.cStats = cStats;
+                    callback();
+                } else {
+                    this.api.createChannelStats(event.rChannel.id, function(cStats) {
+                        event.cStats = cStats;
+                        callback();
+                    });
+                }
+            }.bind(this));
+        }.bind(this));
+    }.bind(this);
+};
+
+exports.fetch = function(dbot) {
+    return new sstats(dbot);
+};
diff --git a/modules/sstats/strings.json b/modules/sstats/strings.json
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..183b725
--- /dev/null
+++ b/modules/sstats/strings.json
@@ -0,0 +1,17 @@
+{
+    "sstats_unknown_user": {
+        "en": "Unknown user."
+    },
+    "sstats_tlines": {
+        "en": "{user} has posted {lines} lines"
+    },
+    "sstats_uclines": {
+        "en": " ({lines} in {channel})"
+    },
+    "sstats_noustats": {
+        "en": "No stats recorded for this user."
+    },
+    "sstats_clines": {
+        "en": "{lines} lines posted in {channel}."
+    }
+}